We had the pleasure to interview Pamela “Pam”, the creator of the travel blog Voyager sa vie. Pam lives in Montreal, has a passion for Asia and is one of the founders of Voyageuses du Québec, the first web-magazine on female travelling in Québec! This website aims to demystify female travels and to encourage female French-Canadians to travel.  Here are her thoughts and tips on solo female travelling.

Can you tell me a bit about yourself, when did you start travelling alone? Why? What is your current situation?

I am Pamela, 32 years old, and I’ve been living in Montreal for 14 years. I am a mental health worker in Montreal, my blog and web-magazine Voyageuses du Québec are the other parts of my job. I have created my ideal job!

I started to travel young with my mother (a lot with all-inclusive formulas, as it is done a lot in Quebec), then at 19 years old I travelled with my girlfriend in Mexico. The next year I went to Asia, which became a passion, I travel multiple times a year in Asia ever since. My mother’s death a few years later is what pushed me to travel alone for the first time, it gave me the last push I needed. I became aware that life can stop at any time. Why, then, wait to do what I really wanted to do? At that time, I had a few destinations in time, and, pulling a paper randomly to choose, it came down to Switzerland, one of the safest countries on the planet (which reassured my grandmother). This first travel wasn’t easy, one idealizes solo travelling a lot, but the loneliness can become heavy to bear. And seven years ago, people weren’t as connected as today, so I sometimes found myself completely isolated. But this travel also allowed a great introspection and I realized I was capable of doing it. It was the starting point.

Among the countries you have visited, which is/are your favourite?  

This is a really hard question! My answer will probably change tomorrow, but right now I would say China, for the countryside; The Philippines, for the landscapes’ beauty; and Indonesia, with Sumatra island, which I fell in love with.

Which country or travel experience really surprised you?

India, where I was unsettled, my reactions surprised me, my way of reacting to some looks. I went there with a friend. I knew it was likely to happen, but I wasn’t expecting to be so surprised. Despite my respect for traditions and clothing habits (trousers, shirt), the look in men's eyes completely froze me. One event in particular stood out for me: my friend and I were in a temple, somewhere in the countryside of Pushkar. There were many men around, and as soon as my friend’s eyes were leaving me, as soon as he was looking somewhere else, the men’ stare would change completely, I could feel the difference with how they stared at us before. I am deeply feminist, and this is where I realized the radically different way in which women can be treated.

Also, Taiwan, which pleasantly surprised me, it was a short stay before going to Japan. One doesn’t hear a lot about this country, but it clicked, within twenty minutes I knew I would love the place, I really want to go back there! It is a country which gather all the good aspects of China and Japan, without any of the negative aspects!

What does travelling alone bring you?

I am rather introverted, I can be sociable of course, but I always need time for myself, to recharge my batteries. I think that travelling on my own is the best way to do so, it’s a moment where I can be alone with myself. It really soothes me to be on my own, to be alone with my thoughts. I know it scares a lot of people, this solitude, to face oneself and one’s thoughts, but on the contrary, I always use this time to reflect on myself, to see where I am at, what I want to work on…This is what travelling alone brings me the most. I travel alone to be alone. It’s like a meditation. Of course, I enjoy having coffee with someone from my hostel, I am not a savage either, but travelling alone is really taking the time to be with myself, to listen to myself.  

Has travelling changed your perception of yourself? How?

I was always introverted, and when I was younger, I used to see that very negatively. I was always surrounded (friends, family, girlfriends and boyfriends) by extroverts. In consequence, I used to see this side of me negatively, but ever since I travel solo, it’s the opposite, I’ve learned to understand and love it, and to see that actually this isn’t a flaw. In the same way, my trust in myself. When you’re struggling on the other side of the planet, in a Chinese countryside where no one understands you, and still, you manage to find your way and the bus you need, this kind of experience makes you proud of yourself every time, it really boosts your self-esteem!

Do you have an experience or person you met who changed your way of perceiving yourself, or the others, or even the fact of travelling alone?

During one of my trips in China, I went in Guizhou, an area rarely visited by Westerners, and I realised after a whole week there that I hadn’t seen crossed path with a single one of them, I was the only one! Maybe it was also due to the time of the year I was there, but this is where I realised “Well, I can go anywhere, I am managing fine here where no one understands me, it has been a week since I have spoken English with someone”.

What would you say to people who say that traveling alone as a woman is dangerous?

I would say that -and this is applicable for every subject- as soon as one doesn’t know something or isn’t informed on the subject, one is wary or scared. Often, the people who hold this idea are people who haven’t travelled a lot or who haven't strayed from the beaten path. Of course, one must always be careful, as one would be back at home, but one must try! The best way to fight against this idea is to do it.

I am often told « But aren’t The Philippines dangerous?” because medias have reported an incident or a terrorist attack in some place, henceforth people generalize. One must take a step back from everything that is said and must inform oneself and open oneself to the others.

How could we change this idea that women shouldn't travel alone, and should go with someone?

Personally, I co-founded Voyageuses du Québec, a web-magazine to democratize solo female travelling. To change mindsets, we must talk about it, but not necessarily abroad, it is already an everyday work at home. As soon as we hear a sexist remark or comment, we must try to deconstruct it, with information and the sharing of experience. The more we will talk about it, the more people will see that there are girls and women who do it, and thus, the less likely the woman will be seen as needing companionship when traveling.

What is your worst experience? How did you handle it? Did it have an impact on you, your behaviour or your life?

I don’t have any direct bad experience but in Medan (an Indonesian province of North Sumatra), with my girlfriend, we had a flight for Banda Aceh, a province under the sharia’s authority, where there is a lot of Muslim extremism. At the time, there were a lot of protests in Medan because of the ongoing presidential elections. When we arrived at the airport, we were told that 75% of the flights had been cancelled, and, by asking around, that several terrorist organizations had been dismantled by the government, and that these organizations were suspected of having hidden bombs in the demonstrations. We didn’t know what to expect at Banda Aceh, and our flight was taking off two hours later…We needed to take a decision quickly, which was really difficult. In the end we slept in the airport that night and we took a flight for Kuala Lumpur the next day. I just listened to my inner little voice.

What advice and tips would you give women who hesitate to travel alone?

Three tips. The first one: to talk about travelling alone to the good persons. Talking about it with office colleagues who have never travelled, during a break, isn’t always a good idea, their reactions can be discouraging. My first solo travel, clearly, my grandmother wasn’t the one who encouraged me to do it! So it is a really good idea to talk about it with other women who went there, who have done it, for example to groups of travellers on social medias, so they can share their experience and tips.

Second tip: to choose a reassuring destination, that makes you comfortable, even a close one. If you live in Montreal for example, the Gaspésie is a good destination.  A first solo trip doesn’t mean leaving at the other side of the planet! Obviously, if going to India is as reassuring for you, then go for it!

Third tip: to know the difference between fears and intuition. Before I leave for a solo trip, even after so many solo trips, I still have fears. But this isn’t my instinct telling me “I have a bad feeling”, it is just fear. One must learn to tame them. Instinct and intuition are something else. I think a lot of people stops themselves from solo travelling because they think “I don’t feel it, I have a bad feeling”, but it is just the fear talking. Because if you have this urge to leave, you must listen to yourself.  

Your best experience while travelling?

A four-month trip to South East Asia, where I visited the Philippines, Vietnam, Myanmar, Thailand and a bit of Malaysia. I travel often, four or five times a year, but rarely for long periods of time. And for that travel, I left for four months, and it turned out to be an experience superior to every other. Leaving for so long allowed me not to stress about the time passing, I didn’t think “I only have two days left, one day left …”. Forgetting about the time passing made it a perfect trip!

Do you have a message for the women who will read you?

Trust yourself and go for it! To me, travelling solo is one of the most positive things in my life. If you are reading this interview, it’s because, somewhere, you have this urge to go. So go! Stop analysing everything, stop trying to control and plan everything, and just buy this ticket!

A few years ago, after a difficult, unpassionate year in college, and after working my ass off for two months in a restaurant, I decided I needed holidays and went to see one of my bestfriends in Rotterdam. She had been studying there for the past semester, had only good things to tell me about the city and her college, and I really needed a change of air (also, I missed her, obviously). So I took off, a seven hours trip from Paris to Rotterdam, in a lousy, crowded bus with unbearable teenagers in the back and a cute Russian family next to me. Finally I arrived, and I knew in a matter of seconds, that I would love the city.

Bear in mind, this isn't Amsterdam, with its cute paved streets and canals everywhere, a sort of perfect, peaceful Disney (in a good way) city. Rotterdam, my best friend told me, had been bombed during WWII by Germany because of a miscommunication issue (which is both horrific and kind of funny, History is sometimes made in a weird way). So a big part of the city had to be rebuilt. That's the thing though: none of it is ugly. This city has both an old, charming vibe AND a futuristic vibe.  None of the buildings which have been rebuilt in the 50s-60s (I guess) look ugly or out of time, as it is mostly the case in France. Even 60 years later, it still looks futuristic, like straight out of a sci-fi magazine.

It's pretty, it's clean, it's modern, it's green. Here is your slogan. Ever seen those perfect construction billboards showing you the futuristic neighborhood or building complexes that are planned, promising you a perfect, magazine-like life? This is Rotterdam. Obviously, the only thing ruining it being my rented orange bike, which was probably the only one in the city that heavy and that squeaky.

What can I say about the population? Tall (REALLY tall, like light-switches-placed-way-too-high-on-the-walls tall), beautiful (all of them, seriously guys, what's the secret?) blonde giants, cycling everywhere, to go to work, meet friends, buy groceries, in a inextricable ballet, cycling past you effortlessly. You thought you were in shape? I'm telling you, you're not. I literally saw a guy moving away by bike. And another one balancing packs and packs of empty beers on his knees while cycling away. Wtf.

We tried the lekkerber speciaaltje at the Market Hall and had truffle chips and beer on Witte de Withstraat, parked our bikes in an underground bike parking lot and played a giant chess game at the Centraal Bibliotheek, visited the Kijk-Kubus (these incredible yellow tree houses), ate krokets among buddhas statues in a restaurant in the middle of nowhere while trying to see the windmills of Kinderdijk. We watched seagulls attack a guy to get his sandwich and observed Dutch people tanning (meaning: going from very white to very red) on The Hague's beach, saw the Parliament and the International Court of Justice (which lacks a tower because of lack of money apparently), drank cappuccinos after cappuccinos in bobo vegan cafés and cycled all day long -followed by the squeaky sound of my orange bike.

We did so much in those four days, and it could sound so packed and in a hurry, but it was the most peaceful, perfect four days of my year. The absolute freedom to decide what we wanted to do and see. To choose, on the spot, whether to have a break and a cappucino or to keep cycling around the city. To set a morning alarm when we wanted and to call it a day when we decided it. To visit the city or to take the train and go to another one. Rotterdam is this kind of perfect city to visit for a solo trip or a trip with friends. A four-days break can seem way too short to really enjoy a city, or to really rest, but I left with my self-confidence boosted, my mind at ease and rested, full of paved streets and futuristic buildings. And my ears still ringing from my squeaky orange bike.

My pieces of advice and safety tips

Why do people go solo travel ? According to most of the surveys, people prefer solo travel because of three main reasons : to gain and feel the Freedom, to Challenge themselves, to Discover a new place and a new culture.

While you are planing your first solo travel abroad, what are the things you care about the most ? You probably want to have an unforgettable experience, learn more about the world and about yourself while escaping a tiresome routine. Therefore, you probably want to visit a place that offers you a unique journey. Trust me when I say that Paris got all that and more. There is a reason why it's one of the most famous touristic places in the world. However, the two other things that you probably care about (and if not, please do)  are: not having too much of bad surprises and feel safe.

People often idealize Paris. Some of the assumptions about this city are true : Paris is indeed a beautiful destination, it has so much to offer and the internet overflows with all kinds of suggestions related to different places you should visit. BUT it's important to bear in mind that it's also a city with a population of more than 2 Million so it's fair to say that you will find all kinds of people there. We will gradually go through things that you may not know about Paris and that will counterbalance the whole " perfect fairy tale destination “ illusion and make it a more fair representation of the french city. I hope that by the end of this article you will have enough tools to decide whether or not Paris should be the destination for your first solo trip ever.

Paris, a never-ending city

First, may I jump on that “city of 2 millions of people” fact? If you live in a little town, with few people and if you are not used to over-crowded and loud spaces, Paris might be a little overwhelming. But still, it doesn't  mean that it couldn't be a great first travel experience, you just have to take a few extra points in consideration. For example, it will be important to make some research about how to handle the stress that might overwhelm you because of this new and unusual environment. One of the ways to lessen some anxiety is to thoroughly acquaint yourself with Paris’ metro and train system beforehand. Because it's a very big city, it has a lot of metro and RER lines that seem to mingle quite chaotically at first. Thus, taking a few extra steps that will in the end help you feel less anxious about things such as your movements around the city, is always a good idea.

The other thing related to the fact that Paris is huge, is the number of arrondissements, of districts. Paris incorporates 20 districts, each one different from the other, so you may want to have a look at those beforehand. For your first stay in Paris, I would advise you to narrow your choice of districts to 1-10. These are the places with the most important museums, parks and other touristic sites and they are also considered as quite safe.

Some random facts about Paris that you may not have heard of

fact 1: related to the Metro and RER stations

One of the things that my mom found horrific when we moved to France was how dirty the metro and the RER stations were. Now, even if I found it a tiny bitsy exaggerated, I have to agree with the fact that some stations may be cleaner than the others. And let’s just tell the truth : the touristic lines, like metro 1, are more cleaner than the less “famous” once. So if you find yourself at the metro 4 station and you are a little taken aback by the strange cat pee odeur, don’t worry, it’s normal and you’ll get used to it. Personally, I just try to not pay attention to it and instead I try to focus my mind elsewhere (the music that I am listening to, the people around me...) so it won’t affect my mood.

fact 2: More public transports, less taxi

Yes, I just talked about how some metro and train stations were not perfectly clean but listen me out. Taxi is pretty expensive in Paris and often times, because of traffic, it's not the fastest way to go from point A to point B. Therefore, I advise you to favor public transports. However, if you stay late in a bar, for example, and you don't want to take any risk, Uber would be a good choice. Taxis are a good option only in the following scenario: a taxi is cheaper if you take it from the aeroport when you arrive, as they have to obey official Paris rates, so make sure to check that out !

fact 3: Be aware of the happy hours !

Speaking of staying late in a bar: sometimes having a drink can be expensive, thus make sure to check out the happy hours in bars and cafés ! Most of them offer you great discounts on drinks, like a 50 % discount. The happy hour usually starts at 17:00 and ends at 21:00. You can always search the name of the bar on Google and see its opening/closing hours and its happy hours schedule.

fact 4:  a free walking tour is actually a good idea in Paris

As it is your first solo trip ever and because Paris offers you so many places to visit, you might feel dizzy and overwhelmed because of the endless possibilities. Therefore, it might be a good idea to start your journey with a little guided tour. As you will gain experience in solo travel, you will learn how to organize your journey properly. However, for your first travel ever, a guided tour will help you adjust to the new city faster. Guided tours can be expensive, and it’s especially true for a city like Paris. Thus, Discover Walks company offers you free walking tours all around the french capital city. The tour guide will usually wait for a tip at the end of the tour but that’s it. You are free to choose the place you want to visit, at what time etc. Here is the official website of the company, check it out!

https://www.discoverwalks.com/tour/city/paris-walking-tours/

Safety

Now. As a young woman who spends a lot of her free time in Paris, I can say with no doubt that this city is pretty safe. BUT. Be aware of this magnificent " pretty “. Indeed, even if Paris in ranked one of the safest places to travel alone as a woman (https://www.mapquest.com/travel/safest-cities-in-europe-for-women-to-travel-alone/) it does not mean that there is no risk at all.

The Pickpockets

As I said earlier, many people think of Paris as the perfect fairy tale place and other people might take advantage of this sweet naivety. While you look at the sparkling Tour Eiffel at night, with your mouth and eyes wide open, someone will probably try to sneak their hand into your bag, the one that you left open after taking your camera out of it. It’s the same scenario during the day, and it’s especially true for famous and crowded places such as Les Champs Elysées, Sacré Coeur and Le Louvre. It's also true when you are in transports. If you are standing by the doors, be particularly aware when they open and close because often times people will try to grab your bag from outside or from inside and then run outside, and before you know it, the doors are closed and you can’t go after them. I didn’t see it happen often but it does happen, so stay alert.

Here are some basic rules I follow in order to make sure to be safe in transports (metros, RER, buses, tramways):

-Always have a purse with a zipper. If it’s a bag, never have it on both shoulders. The reason why? When it’s crowded, you are squeezed against people so you might not see/feel a hand opening your bag. Thus, in order to avoid that, I always have my bag on one shoulder which enables me to have my hand on it.

-Always have your bag in your hands, on your lap. I never leave it on the seat beside me and I never leave it under my seat.

-Never have too much money with you. I always have less than 30 EUR in cash and the rest is on my credit card. My credit card is protected by a card sleeve that blocks scanning. They don’t cost much and it’s a great way to feel safe and not worry if somebody is trying to scan the money off your credit card.

Scams

-transport scams :

Most of the scammers are concentrated in metro, buses, RER stations that tourists use a lot. The most common scam is a person who will try to sell you metro or RER tickets. Those are usually more expensive than the regular onces. So, make sure to always buy your metro/ RER ticket at a valid machine. You will have no difficulty finding one of those at the station and if you ever have any problem, there is usually a counter, an office, with RATP workers who will help you out. Also, if it's a long stay, you may want to purchase a Navigo special travel pass. Check out the RATP official website for more info ! https://www.ratp.fr/en/visite-paris/english/visiting-paris-and-its-surrounding-areas

-touristic sites scams :

type 1: fake petitions.

Now, this is kind of tricky. In Paris, it's normal to find a group of people who offer you to sign a petition for a good cause. However, when this kind of people approach you near a very famous touristic place, without any official signs/logo that represent the cause, it's usually a scam. If you sign the paper, they will want you to pay money and none of it will go to a charity. So be careful, do not sign anything that looks suspicious. In general, the person will not insist much, but if it’s the case, just walk away and ignore them.

type 2: the “free” gift.

Never agree to take a flower, a bracelet, a ring or other accessories from people who offer it “for free”. It's actually a scam and they will want you to pay for it afterwards. Those scams are easy to avoid, just like for the first one, say “no” and walk away.

Here are some more general pieces of advice that are relevant to any travel, not only for Paris

-Make sure to keep some friends and/or your family updated

Maybe you want to escape your family with this trip and it's not my place to say that you should or not do that. However, it might be a good idea to give at least one friend your itinerary plan or just to keep them updated every day. For example, writing a little “Hey! I am alive!” message. It's just for your own safety and in case something goes wrong, someone will be able to help you. Also, as we said before, you might feel lonely, anxious, overwhelmed or even scared during your first trip, so keeping in touch with your loved once will help you overcome some of those negative (but totally normal) feelings.

-Have a back up cash in case your bag or purse is stolen.

-Make sure to book the hotel/hostel/airbnb in a safe area, close to transports and close to at least one supermarket.

Here you go! I hope you find those tips and pieces of advice useful and clear. Share your own solo travel tips in the comments, I will be happy to read them!

We had the opportunity to exchange with Marie, the creator of the travel blog A day in the World. Marie has visited more than fifty countries on five continents and share her adventures, itineraries, and tips on her blog since 2011. We discovered her thoughts on solo female travelling.

Can you tell me a bit about yourself, when did you start travelling alone? Why? What is your current situation?

I started to travel when I was younger, around ten, with my parents, and I have never stopped! I made my first solo trip when I was 17, and I found myself in the middle of Tennessee. The first three days, whenever someone offered me water, I could not understand a single word because of the accent!

Today I am 36 and I live in Montpellier (France), my birth city, to which I went back after a couple years of travelling around the world, a time during which I also created my blog A day in the world. Nowadays, I balance my life between my communication agency Agence Babouche and my travels and missions abroad. Whenever I travel, I need to find a meaning, a goal.

Among the countries you have visited, which one is your favourite?  

So far, I have travelled in 50+ countries on five continents. It is hard for me to give me only one favourite! I really loved Iran, which is probably among the greatest travels of my life. The Iranians’ conviviality, and their kindness, are unique. Also, Colombia, because this country is a daily party! To me, it gathers the best of South America.

Which country or travel experience really surprised you?

Benin. I was there for a humanitarian project in collaboration with a women’ shelter in the suburbs of Cotonou. It is an adventure that really moved me and about which I think a lot. The religious side really surprised me, because no one has a single religion, but multiple ones! Voodoo is for example widely spread. I went to some really impressive ceremonies.

What does travelling alone bring you?

Travelling, to me, is a bit like meditating, it is a return to one’s self. One must know that when one travels alone, one is actually never really alone - at least we are only when we want! A trip is made of encounters, of exchanges and sharing, so it is easy to meet some road buddies.

Has travelling changed your perception of yourself? How?

It is hard to answer for me because I have travelled ever since I was a little. To travel did not change me, but I would say that it helped me to build myself.

Do you have an experience or person you met who changed your way of perceiving yourself, or the others, or even the fact of travelling alone?

I have travelled in a lot of developing countries and I have carried out several humanitarian projects, like in Middle Atlas in Morocco for a school, in Tunisia with Berber women, in Benin with a shelter of women between 15 and 25 years old. These experiences cannot let anyone indifferent.  

What would you say to people who say that traveling alone as a woman is dangerous?

That it is entirely false! One is in no more danger at night in the streets of Rio as in the Parisian subway! The most important thing is to know and listen to one’ self, and to be aware of the potential dangers. But this applies anywhere in the world and in every situation! It is what one teaches to a five-year-old kid about to cross the street for example. I think that solo travelling in general is not for everyone. Depending on someone’s personality, it will not be a pleasure, but rather a challenge, so one cannot be forced. To me, it was the best experience of my life! For someone who would like to start travelling solo, Asia is an “easy” continent, one feels safer.

What is your worst experience? How did you handle it? Did it have an impact on you, your behaviour or your life?

I think there are different categories and levels, in the “worst experiences” department. On my side, I’ve never had any bad experience. I’ve experienced the hacking of my credit card in Brazil, or a shitty guide in Jordan, a klutzy American woman while hiking, a flat tire in Mongolia, a quick trip to the hospital in Chile because I couldn’t put my foot on the ground anymore…But none of that was serious enough to make me go back home or impact my life!

What advice and tips would you give women who hesitate to travel alone?

To inform oneself about the place one is about to visit, to adapt one’s clothing accordingly (in cult places but also in general, depending on the place’s religion). To use hostels or couchsurfing platforms, which are the best way to meet people, especially if one is scared of getting lonely. Everyone is in the same state of mind: travelling and meeting new people. Regarding safety, one should avoid arriving by night and should try to have booked an accommodation for the first night: it will avoid the struggle of looking for a place to stay when one has just arrived. Also, always have a padlock (with a code is better) and an anti-theft -I invested in a flexible one for my backpack.

Your best experience while travelling?

I went to Mongolia, for a three-week journey on horseback to travel through different regions and live among the nomads. It was fantastic! Also, Bolivia, because it is where I have seen the most beautiful landscapes in the world. The panoramas were breath-taking, especially the region of Sud-Lípez.

Do you have a message to women who will read/watch you?

Free yourselves, live, laugh, and travel! This is the only way to be happy and to thrive! If I could, I would leave tomorrow…

Often times when I go out to eat in Paris, I announce like every person living away from the motherland, “This is not authentic Indian food, food is so much better in India.” Well, that is true. I do think food in India is some of the best in the world with a variety of spices, vegetables, lentils, cheese, and kinds of butter used. It’s like a celebration of the taste buds. I am Indian so I grew up eating the food but even if you get sick after eating it, trust me, it will be worth it. Haha, okay not really.

There are some misconceptions people have about Indian food. We don’t eat curry all the time. Not everything is created to burn your insides. Believe me. I often get asked, “What are the best dishes in India?” Well, here you will find them approved and recommended by a fellow curry person.

1.Dosa

I feel like I could write an ode to Dosa. This is my favorite dish of all time. It comes from the south of India but is available throughout the country. It is essentially a thin rice crepe which is often served with sambar, a type of lentil curry, and coconut chutney. When I say that I could eat a bucket full of coconut chutney, I mean it. Sometimes, it also comes with surprises in the middle – a potato curry. This is called Masala Dosa. Usually, it is enjoyed for breakfast but because it is so good, you can literally eat it any time of the day. It is also really cheap and filling. The bonus? It is vegan most of the time! Just ask the server to prepare it without ghee or butter and you have the best vegan meal of all time!

2. Naan

Repeat after me, IT IS NOT NAAN BREAD. Naan literally means bread so saying Naan bread sounds like bread bread. I know it has been popularized all over the world but Naan in India is especially special. It is made in a tandoor which is a clay oven. We also have so many varieties of naans – Naan, butter naan, cheese naan, cheese garlic naan, chur chur naan, pudina naan, and what not. I could just eat it by itself but it is best enjoyed with –

3. Dal Makhani

Yes, naan and dal makhani are a match made in heaven. This combination is especially enjoyed in winters because it warms your soul. Dal Makhani is a lentil curry but it isn’t just any other lentil curry, it is the most superior one. Dal Makhani literally means buttery lentils. Basically, the lentils are cooked for up to 24 hours in cream and butter which makes it so rich and melt-in-the-mouth. It can even be prepared without dairy for people with dietary restrictions.

4. Chole Bhature

This is the type of dish you enjoy once or twice a year and you’ll soon understand why. It is chana masala, the chickpea curry, served with a fried bread. Obviously, eating this regularly can be heart attack inducing but it is just so good. The bread and the spicy chickpeas complement each other so well. They are even served with onions and pickles sometimes. It is originally a street food from the north of India but now, it is available everywhere.

5. Chaat

Chaat is not a dish, it is basically street food. Chaat means to lick because it is so good that you will end up licking your fingers. Now, there are so many different chaats – bhel puri, which is puffed rice with potatoes, onion and mango served with chutneys and sev, sev puri, fried and crispy dough served with tomatoes, potatoes, onions and chutney with a dash of lime and gol gappe/pani puri/puchka which is a round-shaped hollow dough served with potatoes, onions and chickpeas with a mixture of flavored water. I know, my words don’t translate well enough to describe the experience but your tastebuds will thank me later.

6. Butter Chicken

Now, I am a vegetarian and I don’t personally know what butter chicken tastes like. But, I asked a friend to tell me. Chicken marinated overnight in yogurt and spices mixture and cooked with a special Makhani (Butter) sauce, tomato puree, and spices that gives the dish its unique flavor. It is also best enjoyed with naan and is the ultimate comfort food of non-vegetarians in India. It is also quite popular all around the world but of course, it’s the best in the motherland.

7. Thali

Thali is not a dish, it’s an experience. Thali means plate. It is like a tasting platter where you get to try different curries. It has all the courses - snacks, drink, main course, bread, and dessert. They also don’t stop serving you until you tell them. This is called unlimited thali which is very quintessential to India. Dishes served in a thali vary for regions in India with north Indian thalis serving North Indian cuisine and South Indian thalis serving south Indian cuisines. Irrespective of all that, it is absolutely delicious and you will leave with a swollen belly.

8. Biryani

This slow-cooked rice dish is sealed into containers with a bunch of spices including saffron. It traditionally includes either marinated chicken or mutton. But since almost 40% of the country is vegetarian, veg biryanis are also available irrespective of what people say. It is quite wholesome and is served with raita or yogurt on the side.

9, Gulab Jamun

Once, my friend ate 13 of these. I still call her a legend. I’d say this Indian dessert may be is an acquired taste. It is a doughnut made of cheese which is fried and then dipped in sugar syrup, yes. It is so sweet but also so good. What is worrisome is the fact that this is not the most diabetes-inducing dessert. That title goes to jalebi. We often enjoy it in winter but is often eaten with ice cream in summer. It is also the standard dessert in every Indian restaurant.

10. Kulfi

Kulfi is a type of Indian ice cream which is often served on a stick. It is similar to ice cream but is denser and creamier. It is flavored with many different things – saffron, pistachio, almonds, rose, mango, and whatnot. It’s the perfect dessert after a spicy meal, the mild flavors and sweetness along with the coldness calms down your burning insides.

Great, now I am hungry!

Hello books lovers and other travel junkies. Today we're back with our little improvised "Bookclub for people who can't travel due to a godamn global pandemic that will probably have a second wave and leave us wondering if the New Year's Eve joke See you next year will actually come true". All cynicism and dark humor aside, here are five other books on solo female travelling, written by some mind-blowing women, and entirely greenlighted by the Goodreads community. Another title for this article could have been "What is left of my to-read-list after seeing the comments and feedback of the Goodreads community". Anyway. These are gems apparently.

• Ireland to India with a Bicycle, by Dervla Murphy

This book is Dervla Murphy’s account of her ride, in 1963, through Europe to India, during one of the worst winters in memory. At age 31, she set out to bike from Ireland to India, inspired by memories of corresponding with a Sikh pen pal as a teenager, on a bicycle she named Rocinante (after Don Quixote’s horse) and with only a small revolver for protection. This incredible quest took her through through Europe, Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan or even Tibet. She never stayed in hotels, preferring instead to accept the hospitality of locals.

• Eat, pray, love : one woman's search for everything across Italy, India and Indonesia, by Elizabeth Gilbert

An absolute classic, that could NOT not figure on this list. At 34 years old, Elizabeth Gilbert was educated and married, and had a home and a successful career as a writer. After finalizing her difficult divorce, she spent the next year traveling the world. She spent four months in Italy, eating and enjoying life ("Eat"), three months in India finding her spirituality ("Pray") and ended the year in Bali, Indonesia, looking for balance of the two and fell in love with a Brazilian businessman ("Love"). The book was such a huge success that it appeared on the New York Times Best Seller List of nonfiction in the spring of 2006, and was still #2 on the list 88 weeks later, in October 2008.

• In Search of Mary, by Bee Rowlatt

As a university student at Glasgow, Bee Rowlatt first encountered the proto-feminist Mary Wollstonecraft through her Letters from Norway (an epistolary travel narrative). Bee Rowlatt embarked in 2011 with her son on an journey in search of the life and legacy of this first celebrity feminist, going from the wild coasts of Norway to a naked re-birthing in California, via the blood-soaked streets of revolutionary Paris. On this biographical treasure hunt she encountered a witch, a porn star, a quiet Norwegian archivist and the tenants of a blighted council estate in Leedsgetting. From Norway to Paris and then San Francisco, Rowlatt follows in Wollstonecraft's footsteps and asks everyone she meets how modern feminism and motherhood can coincide.

• A Girls’ Guide to Travelling Alone: Inspiring true tales from solo women travellers, by Gemma Thompson

On her website, Gemma explains that to keep her company during her first solo trip, she had brought along the works of travel writers Michael Palin and Bill Bryson, and although she had enjoyed them, what she really wanted were more travel narratives written by women. For that reason, she asked on social media for submissions for her book. This is what you'll find in this book: witty, inspiring, challenging and sometimes uncomfortable travel stories, written by women of all ages, nationalities, backgrounds and experiences, each with a compelling tale to tell.

• Travel Junkie: A Badass Guide to Solo Female Travel, by Julia Dimon

This book is based on the experiences of travel journalist Julia Dimon, who has travelled to over 80 countries, in all seven continents. She defines herself as a family travel expert, on-camera travel TV host for National Geographic Adventure and Travel Channel International, travel blogger and hard-core travel junkie. Her work led her to experience hiking with mountain gorillas in Uganda, trekking in Chernobyl, or even polar kayaking among icebergs in Antarctica. This book offers 101 tips, such as how to pack and navigate an airport like a pro, how to get off the beaten track and connect with locals, how to volunteer abroad, or how to stay safe on the road.

Since 2016, I have been trekking in the mountains of Korea. Sometimes, I climbed twice a week, Saturday and Sunday, all weekend. When I say this, most people ask me, “Why?” “Isn’t it better to stay home and rest or hang out with friends?” I know why they say this. But I was going through a really tough time in my life. I was exhausted because of work and because I was in a meaningless relationship. I found out I had no passion left to work. I wanted to be away from all the noise that stressed me. I hoped to have a "Me time". Living in a city like Seoul, it is hard to find a calm place. Wherever you go, you are surrounded by lots of people, buildings, and cars. I had to search for other types of solo trip and it had to include the following things :

1. Only bring a small backpack
2. Only on weekends
3. Only a few people around

I could not go on a long vacation or go abroad at that time. I was wondering what type of a solo trip would fit these conditions?

Then, I looked out of the window and a small mountain grabbed my attention. Frankly speaking, I had never thought that hiking was my thing. I’d rather say, I hated it. I still remembered the days I was sweaty and complained when I was a kid. Hiking is something that I wanted to avoid as much as possible.

But, when I became an adult, I learn the truth to learn. Nothing lasts forever. Everything can be changed. For the first time in my life, something came up in my mind and that was, “Ok, Let's try one more time”

Fortunately, I have lived in a country full of mountains. You would be surprised If I say you could reach the mountains with public transportation. There are subway stations named after mountains. In the center of Seoul, the capital city of Korea, there are many mountains and hiking guides. I only had to pick one.

I walked into the entrance of the mountain, and then a whole new world appeared. I was surrounded by all green things. On the way to the peak, there was no one on the road. Slowly, I focused on my environment. I could hear the sound of the wind. I didn’t know it had a sound before. Whenever I took a step forward, I felt the soil under my shoes. It was pretty soft, a totally different feeling compared to the streets with asphalt. The sound of birds' singing was quite loud here. No need to turn on a portable Bluetooth speaker to listen to music. Trees provide sweet and fresh air constantly. I have forgotten all those feelings for a long time. It was like I’m in wonderland.

By now, when I can’t go on a trip abroad, I hit the road for my own little trip which I can do right now. For a few hours, I completely enjoy the perfect "me time". I care for my mind by talking to myself.  A solo trip is not far away, It is closer than you would think. Just look around, it's already with you.

We had the chance to interview Pauline, the creator of the travel blog Graine de voyageuse. Pauline is from Normandy, speaks four languages, left everything to travel in Southern Asia a few years ago and recounts her adventures on her blog ever since. Here are her thoughts on solo female travels.

Can you tell me a bit about yourself, when did you start travelling alone? Why? What is your current situation?

I started to travel when I was 19: I went to England for two months as an au pair to improve my English, and I took this opportunity to travel around a bit. Then, for my language studies I went abroad for internships, which allowed me to improve my language skills and to discover what it was like to travel solo (but once more, it was supervised). Then, when I started to work, I wanted to go to Costa Rica with some friends, but I ended up going there alone as no one was ready to travel into the unknown at this time. After this experience, I became completely addicted to travelling.

Today I’m 31 and I have multiple faces: I’m a freelance redactor and translator, but also a blogger, and sometimes a photograph, depending my clients’ needs. My blog is not a professional one, it is only a hobby.

Among the countries you have visited, which one is your favourite?

It is a very hard question, as I loved every travel for different reasons! I am thinking about Costa Rica because it was my first solo travel. I can still remember the adrenaline sensations when I was sitting in the plane, I didn’t know what I would do or see! Also Mexico, where I almost settled, because the people are adorable, it is a very festive atmosphere, so you want to party and to smile all the time, there is music in every street…It is a happy country, with a lot of joie de vivre!

Which country or travel experience really surprised you?

Iran! It was a real slap in the face. I was accompanying a friend visiting his expatriate brother. I didn’t really think about it, I took my plane tickets and it is only after that I thought to myself “Wait, what am I getting into? We are talking about Iran”! There are so many negative associations, with what we hear in the media…In the end I was super surprised, even before we landed. During the flight, some local women went to ask me a lot of questions, fascinated that I was going there, thanking me for taking an interest in the country which had such a bad reputation. At the time, tourism was not very developed yet. So I felt very much welcomed, and this feeling stayed with me during my stay. People were adorable, we were offered pistachios and sweets in the streets, people were welcoming us…  

What does travelling alone bring you?

The freedom! I choose what I want to do, when and with who I want to do it. It is a freedom without frustration, with concessions. I organise and plan according to me and what I want. Also, when you travel alone, you attract people, it leads to more encounters than when you are accompanied. I’ve seen this huge difference when I travel with my husband or solo.

When solo, I am never alone, I meet people every day, I have found myself more sociable than I am in my normal daily life. You really become a magnet for people! But when I am travelling with someone, it is much more limited, there is a sort of barrier that makes people hesitate to come up to you, since you are accompanied.  

Has travelling changed your perception of yourself? How?

I realised that I am stronger than I thought. When I travel solo, I realise that I can take decisions that could change the trip entirely (going to this person instead of this one, this place rather than another…). I managed to assert myself more, to say no. So, you become stronger and more autonomous, since you learn how to live and organise yourself, especially when you move around a lot, so you have to learn how to adapt.

Do you have an experience or person you met who changed your way of perceiving yourself, or the others, or even the fact of travelling alone?

Yvanna, a French woman I met during a volunteer mission in Laos in a national park. I was making videos to present their tours, and she was doing stunning interviews of the employees and the population. She told me she worked intensely for six months to save up money and that she travelled for the rest of the year, spending as little as possible, by volunteering. She allowed me to see that one doesn’t have to live in the frame the society is trying to set us in (work work work, commute every day, must have a house and a stable job…) and that one can choose to have a complete different life and live from it. It really inspired me.

What would you say to people who say that traveling alone as a woman is dangerous?

To travel alone is not that dangerous. When one leaves in solo, one develops one’s instinct, one’s intuition, a lot: one takes safe decisions a lot more than bad ones, since one is a lot more careful and aware of one’s environment.  When one is alone, one listens to oneself and one’s sensations a lot more rather than accompanied, where one can rely on the others. One asks for people’s help, like the places and neighbourhoods to avoid. I don’t think that leaving alone abroad is more dangerous, I got way more troubled in the streets of France than abroad.

There is no touristic country more dangerous than another, for example I never had any issues in Mexico, where everyone was telling me not to go, while I got my worst travelling experience in Thailand, a place supposed to be super safe for tourists. In consequences, I don’t really listen what people tell me about this or this country anymore.

How could we change this idea that women shouldn't travel alone, and should go with someone?

I think this mindset is already changing. We see women travelling solo a lot more, and they are more and more visible. When I started my blog, there were already solo blogs existing, and when I left for the first time, I obviously read everything I could on these blogs to reassure myself. Just the fact to talk about it and to show that it is possible and doable, by normal people like you and me, I think it already helps a lot.

What is your worst experience? How did you handle it? Did it have an impact on you, your behaviour or your life?

In Thailand, where I got all my belongings stolen on an island, when my bag was right behind me. I was left with nothing: no passport, no credit card, no money or phone, no camera, no hostel room card…every essential when you travel, gone. Thankfully, I had befriended two boys on the boat taking me to the island, who really helped me. Thanks to them I was able to call my mom so she could block all my cards remotely and send me money, the two boys gave me food, the hostel manager used my deposit to pay me another night there… To get an emergency travel pass to go back home turned out complicated, the local police was lazy, or corrupted, and were not taking my complaint seriously, but I really needed to file one for my passport theft report. And impossible to get an appointment with the embassy, which can only be obtained by calling them, because the police wouldn’t let me use their phone…Finally, I went directly on site, a fourteen-hour bus trip away, and managed to sneak in between two appointments. I could not feel welcome nor safe anymore. The only benefit was the camera theft because it forced me to enjoy my surroundings and the landscapes without worrying about my belongings, since I had nothing left anymore.  

What advice and tips would you give women who hesitate to travel alone?

First of all, to book in hostels or couchsurfing platforms, this is where one meets people the most. Hotels are a lot less conducive to encounters. When I travel solo, personally, it is too meet a maximum of people, to talk with people, to enrich myself from their experiences. Second, to download an offline map, like with the app Maps.me. There are countries where wandering can be nice, but in others, it is best to avoid it, like in Brazil, where slums can be found right next to residential neighbourhoods. Also, to keep relatives updated, especially if one leaves for a hike on one’s own: let them know where one is going, how, in how much time one should be back, and a local number, like the hostel’s. In case of a problem, if one sprains an ankle, it is always good to know locals that could help. Most importantly, ask advice to locals, they know the place, sometimes even better than guides. It can lead to incredible encounters and experiences, like this local who took me to a national park at night to see nocturnal crabs, or this one who took me to a hot spring in a river, away from the tourists!

Your best experience while travelling?

In Indonesia, to Mount Bromo, a volcano on the Java island. I really wanted to avoid the overpriced tours crowded by tourists to get there, so, by asking around to locals, friends, and bloggers, I was advised to go there on scooter. I left with my husband, who now travels with me, before everyone so that we got the perfect spot to see the sunrise, away from the mass of tourists, it was magical. We stayed there three days, when most people only stay for the day. And to watch the sunset, we went on top of the volcano. Arrived there, the view was magnificent. We found ourselves alone on the volcano, able to walk around, with the smoke and the volcano rumbling, it was an extraordinary experience. I also got lucky enough to observe a brown bear in a national park in Italy during an internship, thanks to naturalists who were writing their thesis and who took me with them. I got all teary!

Do you have a message to women who will read/watch you?

If you have the slightest wish, but really, the slightest, go for it! Worst case scenario, it’s a bad experience, a good joke to tell your friends or children in a few years, best case scenario, it becomes a passion, you become completely addicted, because it is so enriching! At least, try, make an attempt, even if it looks uncomfortable at the beginning, even if it is not far away from home (and there is no need for a trip to be far away!), maybe a passion will be born from it!

We recently had the honour to interview Tiphanya, the author of the blog Avenue Reine Mathilde. Tiphanya is a mom-traveller, is passionate about Marie Curie, and often travels with her eight-year-old daughter. We got her insights on solo female travelling and travelling as a mom.

Can you tell me a bit about yourself, when did you start travelling alone? Why? What is your current situation?

I started to travel after my high school hosted Australian students for a year. I thought that if they were capable of living abroad for a year, I could do the same for six weeks. One of them had lived with my family and I, so, after I graduated from high school, I went to Australia to visit her, and then went to Tasmania to visit another. Today I still travel, either alone, with my family or in duo with my eight-year-old daughter.

Among the countries you have visited, which one is your favourite?  

Australia, because of its impact, this is where I realised that I didn't want to pursue the education I had destined myself for, and where I dared to say to my parents that I wanted to stop. It led to a lot of changes. Also, Togo, where I went seven years later as a volunteer -I was a French as second language teacher.

Which country or travel experience really surprised you?

Alsace, even if this is in France, it made me realise the massive cultural differences within a country! I thought things would be the same as where I come from, but it is all the differences with my region of origin that really marked me: shops being closed on Sundays, or even closing as early as on Saturdays at 3pm, the bread names in bakeries, the vocabulary, the fact that a lot of people spoke Alsatian… We even received rude comments on my husband’s Parisian accent! As I wasn’t expecting it, the shock was even greater.

What does travelling alone bring you?

A real gain of confidence, I realise I am capable of doing things when I don’t have any choice anymore. It is easy in our daily life to postpone things to later, or to rely on others, especially when travelling with people, because you can hide behind them and let them take the lead. But in doing so, you don’t put yourself in danger! When you are alone, face to face with yourself, if you really want to do something you have to go past the fear you can have. Every time I come back home, I realise how much I am capable to do things by myself. It is a real confidence boost.

Has travelling changed your perception of yourself? How?

Yes and no. This idea of self-confidence I feel like I need to travel to maintain it. If I leave too much time between two trips, sometimes I find myself saying that I don’t travel that much. I kind of forget. It is the confinement in the daily life that does that, the everyday organisation and structure that anaesthetize me a bit.

To travel is like a reminder shot, a wake-up call that one is completely in control of one’s daily life. I empower myself.

Do you have an experience or person you met who changed your way of perceiving yourself, or the others, or even the fact of travelling alone?

When I returned from internship in Canada, I had a big realization. I had arrived at the Paris airport, and, wanting to get out, found myself surrounded by passengers from an African flight -so the majority of them were black. I was queueing with them, but one security agent came up to me and told me I could get out of the queue and get out immediately. I was barely 20, and was impressionable, so I didn’t dare to say anything and passed everyone in line to get out. Until that point, I had always thought that to travel as a woman was easier, because some checkpoints are faster for us, people are less suspicious, our bags are not searched etc. But for the first time, I realised that more complex issues are at stake, such as racism, that one doesn’t perceive if one is a white female. This is when I realised that, because I am a white French woman, I probably have more privileges than others, with all the implications this has. It put me to my place, reminded me of what I am and of what I could never pretend I am not. Especially now, because I am a white woman, AND I have a child with me when I travel.

What would you say to people who say that traveling alone as a woman is dangerous?

I have a very negative view of things: the reason for which we think that travelling alone as a woman is dangerous, is what makes being a woman something dangerous in our society. The danger is the same when you go out clubbing in Paris or when you are walking alone on the other side of the globe. Being a woman is an issue. We are in no more danger elsewhere because we are in danger everywhere!  Just look at the reality of violence against women, anywhere could be worse, but it also could be better.

How could we change this idea that women shouldn't travel alone, and should go with someone?

I find that the people who have this idea are mostly women, not men. I think it's really a groundwork that women have to do on themselves, on these beliefs holding them back. You must dare to do it, even if it means leaving with girlfriends, since the danger is there anyway because you are a woman, not because you are alone. So why not start travelling together, and then gradually start traveling alone? Men, at least in my circle, have never remarked to me about the fact that I travel alone, whereas the women do. Internalized messages maybe?

What is your worst experience? How did you handle it? Did it have an impact on you, your behaviour or your life?

I never had anything really serious. The only thing coming back is this ankle I sprained while in Togo. I had had feedback on the local hospitals in the country, and on the overall health system, and I really didn’t want to get to know the treatment conditions. One of the Togolese observed my ankle, which was swelled, and proceeded to massage it, with only moisturising cream. And the swelling disappeared! Then the entire village took care of me, everyone was helping me, the community spirit was incredible. However, I didn’t expect their reactions to my healing: having a very white skin, my ankle turned purple, blue and yellow, as it does when there is a bruise, and they thought it was gangrening! With their black skin, they had never seen a bruise heal that way! Some times later an osteopath told me I had been really lucky to get this kind of treatment, because there was no sign anywhere that something had happened!

What advice and tips would you give women who hesitate to travel alone?

To not hesitate to do it in a secure frame. When I left as a volunteer, it was in this secure frame. It allows us to have trained interlocutors, professionals in case of. Same thing for my trip to Australia, I had contacts there. Before departing for Cambodia for example I had talked to a Belgium woman expatriated there and had her number. Even the embassy number is enough, it allows us to hold on to something, to know that there are people that could help us -unlike the family who stayed at home and can’t do anything remotely.

Your best experience while travelling?

I love to eat! Eating in Japan is amazing. I have this specific memory of being invited at a very good restaurant, and of marvelling at the refinement of the dishes and their beauty. I always thought the aesthetic side was exaggerated in movies or books, but it actually is not.

What has becoming a mother and travelling with a child change for you?

In reality, travelling with my daughter hasn’t changed anything, since I “slow travel” anyway. With a child, one has a lot more interactions with locals, one meets more people. They come more to one, they soften up, and the child, who has a lot less inhibitions, goes easily to them, so one just has to follow! In Sicily, my daughter had no problem whatsoever coming up to people and talking to them. People are always ready to help and are even sometimes disappointed to no get any more time with the child! For example, in Croatia, the waitress really wanted to babysit and hold my daughter while I was going to the bathroom. Of course, it all disappears when your child grows up…

How did your first trip with your daughter go?

I spent a week in Sicily with my daughter- who was then two years old. Generally speaking, I think travelling alone goes well, the hardest thing is not to be a solo mom, it is to be a mom period. The difficulties are the same wherever one goes: is my child hungry? thirsty? sleepy? The change of frame is nice, because it allows to change up from the daily life, to be more relaxed.

To you, what are the pros and cons of travelling for a kid?

Of course, travelling can be disturbing to them because they have less landmarks. But landmarks are not necessarily four-bedroom walls and a bed, you can create them! We travelled continuously for a year and a half, the landmark I had created for her was the little felt horses I had bought in Kyrgyzstan and that I hung above her bed. So whenever we were, in the fifth or fifteenth accommodation, her bed was where the little horses were. Landmarks are especially the parents. Travelling, for children, is also all the hugs, all the time we spend with them, the books we read them, it is also this who feeds their souls. I think it is an investment for the future, travelling allows them to discover new things, new tastes, or new languages. It helps build them as people. Travel shapes youth!

What advice would you give to a mother who hesitates to travel solo with her kid?

When we are together, my daughter and I, we are a team, so we plan everything together. One must explain to the child what is going on, what is going to happen. It avoids surprises and bad reactions. When it is only us two, I need her to listen to me, for example for safety reasons, so I need to listen to her as well. For example, when she was younger, she had to hold my trousers’ pocket while I took pictures. Find some tricks like this. And honestly, if solo moms are able to do this in their daily life, they are more than capable to do the same when travelling!

Do you have a message to women who will read you?

You don’t need to go far to have a real trip. It’s not because you haven’t been sitting for 20 hours in a plane that is it not a trip! You can have real culture shock within the same country, discover new things such as dishes for example. The goal is to enjoy it, it is as rewarding!